Introduction
Dogs have been described as “man’s best friend” for good reason. According to recent surveys, the majority of dog owners view their pets as family members, with 95% of dog owners saying they love their pet “as much as a family member”. This close bond between humans and dogs often begins during childhood and can last a lifetime. However, when couples get a dog together, it inevitably affects the human relationship in both positive and negative ways. While dogs can strengthen bonds through shared responsibilities and affection, they can also test relationships by requiring time, money, and compromises around care and behavior. This article delves into the nuances of how dogs impact romantic relationships, both the benefits and the challenges.
Dogs Can Strengthen Relationships
Getting a dog together can strengthen a relationship by providing shared responsibility and bonding experiences. According to Relatips, taking care of a pet together teaches couples cooperation, patience, and communication. Working as a team to train, exercise, and care for a dog brings couples closer together through a sense of shared purpose. Dogs also encourage more conversations and affection between partners. Taking a dog for walks, cuddling up with a dog on the couch, and playing with a dog together offers relaxing shared activities that can improve intimacy and enjoyment. As discussed in this LinkedIn article, having a dog provides a natural conversation starter with others that allows couples to bond over sharing stories about their beloved pet.
Dogs Can Cause Disagreements
Dogs can definitely lead to disagreements between couples. The most common areas for contention usually revolve around training, expenses, and division of responsibilities.
Training techniques can be a big source of conflict, especially if one partner uses punishment-based methods while the other favors reward-based training [1]. Couples may argue over the best way to housebreak a puppy or correct unwanted behaviors. Compromise is key, as consistency is crucial for a dog’s training success.
Dogs are expensive. Vet bills, food, supplies and unexpected medical issues can become a financial strain [2]. Partners may fight over these costs if they aren’t sharing expenses equally. Open communication about budgeting for a dog’s needs is important.
Caring for a dog takes time and work. Tensions can arise if one partner ends up carrying more of the load when it comes to duties like feeding, walking, grooming, or cleaning up after the dog. Resentment can brew if there is an imbalance in responsibilities [2]. Setting a clear plan for sharing pet care is essential.
Dogs Need Attention and Care
Owning a dog requires a significant time commitment for daily care and attention. Dogs need to be walked multiple times per day, fed on a regular schedule, and given opportunities for training and socialization. Taking a dog outside for exercise and bathroom breaks can require a time investment of 1-2 hours per day depending on the age and energy level of the dog.
Caring for a puppy requires even more time, as young dogs need near constant supervision, frequent potty breaks, and positive reinforcement through training. Puppies may need to be let outside every 2-3 hours initially. Housetraining a puppy can be a months-long process requiring diligent consistency.
Dogs also need regular veterinary care, which means taking time to schedule appointments, transport the dog, and pay for services. Annual exams, vaccines, and preventatives like heartworm and flea/tick medication are necessary. Emergency vet visits for illness or injury may also occur, requiring urgent attention.
For sources discussing the time commitments of dog ownership see:
5 things to consider before getting home a new puppy
How Do You Become a Pet Foster Parent?
Dogs Can Limit Spontaneity
One potential issue dogs can cause in relationships is limiting spontaneity. Having to plan for the care of a dog can make it harder for couples to travel or make last-minute plans together (Wynne, 2020). This lack of spontaneity has been cited as a common challenge by couples with dogs.
For example, finding a petsitter at the last minute for a weekend getaway can be difficult or expensive. As a result, some couples feel constrained in their ability to be spontaneous. Taking a dog along on trips also requires more planning and preparation than traveling alone as a couple.
While dogs can limit spontaneity, some compromises can help. Having a trusted network of family, friends or professional petsitters on call can allow for more flexibility. Bringing the dog along on road trips or to pet-friendly hotels is another option. Discussing and setting expectations around spontaneity can also help couples adapt.
Dogs Can Strain Finances
Owning a dog can put a significant financial strain on relationships. Dogs have ongoing costs for food, supplies, medical care and more that must be factored into the household budget. According to The Spruce Pets, the average annual cost of owning a medium-sized dog is $1,480 for basic expenses like food, supplies, medical care, grooming, boarding and pet sitting. Larger dogs can cost over $2,000 per year.
In addition to routine costs, emergency veterinary expenses can arise at any time and place a huge financial burden on couples. According to the ASPCA, emergency veterinary care costs an average of $800-$1500 per visit. These high medical bills can become a major source of financial stress and disagreement in relationships if pet parents have different perspectives on how much to spend on the dog’s care.
To avoid money disputes over a dog, couples should openly communicate and make a budget plan for expected and unexpected dog expenses before getting a pet together. Compromise and financial preparedness are key to ensuring dogs do not create undue strain on relationships.
Lack of Shared Responsibility
Getting a dog with a partner can lead to resentment if one person ends up taking on most of the responsibility for caring for the pup. According to posts on Reddit, it’s common for one partner to become the “default caregiver,” handling the majority of the feeding, walking, training, and vet appointments (https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/comments/zrhgjn/did_getting_a_puppy_with_your_significant_other/). This imbalance in responsibility can breed frustration and arguments.
On threads in online forums, some complain that their partner deliberately avoids caring for the dog using “weaponized incompetence.” By acting like they don’t know how to do basic tasks like feeding or walking, the partner forces the other person to take over (https://www.petforums.co.uk/threads/i-cant-stand-the-dog-and-resent-my-husband-because-of-it.530179/). This dynamic strains the relationship.
Resentment also builds if one partner undermines the training and rules the other tries to establish for the dog. Or if they are overly permissive and don’t properly discipline the pet when needed (https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-not-be-angry-and-feel-resentment-that-my-husband-brought-me-a-large-breed-puppy-when-I-clearly-stated-I-have-enough-on-my-plate-such-as-a-disabled-child-another-child-another-dog-etc). Partners need to communicate and agree on training techniques to avoid mixed signals for the dog.
Jealousy Over Bond with Dog
It’s common for one partner to develop a stronger bond with the dog than the other. This can lead to feelings of jealousy and exclusion from the non-favored partner [1]. The dog may show more affection and excitement towards one partner, seek their attention more often, and listen better to their commands.
This imbalance in the human-dog bond can negatively impact the relationship between partners. The less favored partner may feel hurt if the dog seems to prefer the other partner’s company and affection. Meanwhile, the favored partner may feel resentful about constantly being responsible for the dog’s care.
To address this imbalance, partners can trade off dog duties like walking, feeding and training so the dog bonds equally with both. Spending designated one-on-one time with the dog can help strengthen the bond with the less favored partner. Compromising to make sure each partner gets solo time with the dog without interference from the other is key.
Solutions and Compromises
While dogs can create issues in relationships, there are solutions and compromises that can help strengthen the relationship.
Improving communication is key. Partners should openly discuss concerns, set boundaries, and agree on shared duties and responsibilities when getting a dog. Setting a dog care schedule and dividing tasks like walking, feeding, training can prevent resentment over an unequal burden.
Compromising and finding a middle ground is important. For example, if one partner wants the dog to sleep in the bedroom and the other doesn’t, they could compromise by having the dog sleep in the bedroom some nights and not others.
Training the dog and reinforcing good behaviors can curb annoying or destructive habits that strain the relationship. Attending obedience classes together can be bonding and helpful.
Partners should also make time for quality time without the dog through date nights, weekends away, etc. This maintains intimacy and the human relationship.
Overall, open communication, shared effort, compromise, and maintaining couple time are key to ensuring dogs bring joy not discontent to relationships. With mutual understanding and patience, dogs can make relationships stronger not weaker.
Conclusion
In summary, dogs can certainly have both positive and negative impacts on romantic relationships. On one hand, caring for a dog together, going on walks, and playing can bring couples closer through shared experiences. The affection and companionship from a dog can also strengthen bonds. However, disagreements over responsibilities and jealousy over the dog bonding more with one partner are common sources of conflict. Dogs also require time, attention, care, and finances – which can detract from the relationship. With compromise and open communication, many couples find ways to benefit from dog ownership while overcoming any challenges.
The key is ensuring both partners are equally invested and sharing dog duties. Setting expectations upfront and constantly discussing any issues is essential. Relationships involving dogs take work, but can thrive with mutual understanding. Each couple must weigh the pros and cons to determine if dog ownership aligns with their situation and goals. With the right commitment and balance, dogs can positively co-exist in loving relationships.