Do Dogs Really Hold Grudges Against Us?
We’ve all experienced that wounded look from our canine companions after accidentally stepping on their paw or forgetting to fill their food bowl on time. Those sad eyes seem to say, “How could you do this to me?” But do dogs actually hold grudges against us for our transgressions? Can they maintain feelings of resentment like humans do?
While dogs may temporarily act upset or agitated if we wrong them, most experts agree that dogs do not actually hold grudges in the same complex way that humans do. However, research shows dogs do have good memories, experience emotions, and can be influenced by past experiences. So let’s explore what’s really going on when your pooch gives you the cold shoulder.
Defining Grudge
Psychologically, a grudge is when someone holds onto negative feelings such as resentment, bitterness, or anger against another person after a perceived offense or wrongdoing (source: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-grudge-5114791). Holding a grudge prevents someone from moving past the initial hurt or anger caused by the situation. Often grudges occur between people who know each other, such as friends, family members, coworkers, etc. However, grudges can also form against strangers, public figures, or even inanimate objects.
When a person holds a grudge, they relive the original offense over and over, maintaining negative feelings associated with it. This causes the grudge to persist, sometimes for years or decades. By continuously focusing on the situation that caused pain instead of moving on, the offended person prevents inner peace or closure (source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201503/why-we-hold-grudges-and-how-let-them-go). Holding grudges can be detrimental to relationships and lead to further conflict.
Dog Emotions
Dogs have the capacity to experience basic emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, and anxiety. Research shows that dogs’ brains contain similar structures and produce similar neurotransmitters as human brains that facilitate emotional experiences. For example, a 2021 review found dogs experience happiness when greeting their owners, as evidenced by behaviors like wagging tails, jumping, and whimpering (Mota-Rojas et al., 2021).
Studies of dog cognition reveal they also feel more complex emotions like jealousy, pride, and shame. Facial expressions and body language communicate how dogs are feeling. For instance, a lowered head and ears flat back can signal fear or anxiety. Tail wagging speed and mouth licking provide additional insight into a dog’s emotional state (Katayama et al., 2019). Overall, research confirms dogs have an extensive emotional range allowing deep bonds with humans.
Dog Memory
There is substantial evidence that dogs have long-term memory for individuals. A 2020 study published in Scientific Reports showed that dogs can remember specific people for at least two months. The researchers had dogs interact with four strangers, then tested the dogs’ reactions to those people 2 months later. The dogs consistently remembered the individuals they had met before.
In addition to long-term memory, dogs also have short-term memory that allows them to learn. A 2016 study from Science demonstrated dogs’ episodic memory by having them imitate human actions after delays ranging from 1 minute to 1 hour. The dogs were able to memorize and repeat the demonstrated actions, even after substantial time had passed.
This evidence indicates dogs can form memories over both short and long durations, allowing them to recognize individuals long after initial encounters.
Signs of Dog Grudges
While there is debate among experts about whether dogs actually feel complex emotions like grudges, some dog owners will swear their pet holds long-term resentments. There are several behavioral indicators owners may interpret as evidence of a dog holding a grudge:
– Aggressive Behavior: If a dog acts aggressively only toward a particular person, snapping, growling, or biting when they approach, an owner may believe the dog harbors resentment toward that individual based on past experiences.
– Avoidant Behavior: If a dog hides, cowers, or runs away when a certain person is present, seeming fearful or upset in their presence, an owner may perceive the dog to be holding a grudge.
– Anecdotal Stories: There are many stories of dogs who underwent a negative experience with a person or animal and subsequently behaved angrily or defensively only toward that individual. While anecdotal, some view this as evidence of dogs holding grudges.
However, most experts argue that while these behaviors may indicate fear, anxiety, or learned aggression toward a particular stimulus, they likely do not reflect the type of complex thought needed to “hold a grudge” in the human sense.
Dog Forgiveness
Dogs tend to forgive people relatively quickly. According to Lessons from Our Dogs – Forgiveness, dogs are quick to forgive because they live in the moment and don’t hold on to grudges like humans do. The article states, “Dogs don’t collect emotional baggage the way we do. When we interact with our dogs, their responses are based on what’s happening right now, not what happened an hour ago or yesterday.”
Training can help dogs get over grudges more quickly. As explained in Can Your Dog Forgive You? Expert Reveals 6 Signs, using positive reinforcement training helps reinforce good experiences and associations. With consistent positive interactions, dogs can learn to forgive past transgressions. The expert recommends using treats, praise, playtime and more affection to help dogs forgive.
Expert Opinions
There are differing views among dog experts on whether dogs can hold grudges. Here are some notable opinions:
According to dog behaviorist Cesar Millan: “Dogs don’t hold grudges. They forgive and move on. We could learn a lot from them.” This suggests dogs are not inclined to hold long-term resentment.
However, some experts believe dogs are capable of feeling resentment. Certified dog trainer Sarah Hodgson states: “Dogs have great memories and do hold grudges to some degree, but not to the extent that humans do.”
Renowned veterinarian Dr. Marty Becker also acknowledges the possibility: “Although dogs lack the cognitive ability to plot full-blown revenge, they absolutely can and do feel wronged.” He advises repairing relationships through positivity.
While views differ, most experts agree that assuming dogs hold grudges can damage the human-canine bond. Anthropomorphizing dogs too much can lead owners to misinterpret behavior.
Risks of Assuming Dogs Hold Grudges
One of the dangers of attributing complex emotions like grudges to dogs is that it can lead owners to misinterpret normal dog behaviors. For example, if a dog is hesitant to approach someone after a negative experience, the owner may assume the dog is holding a grudge. But in reality, the dog is likely just feeling fearful or anxious. Assuming a dog holds a grudge could damage the owner-dog relationship by incorrectly labeling the dog’s emotional state.
Dogs primarily live in the moment – their behavior is guided more by present conditions than memories of past experiences. So while a dog may be hesitant around a person who scared them in the past, they are unlikely to hold resentments like a human would. Attributing grudges to dogs when they are simply expressing fear or anxiety can lead owners to punish normal dog behaviors. This can ultimately strain the human-canine bond that relies on clear communication and understanding.
Rather than assuming a dog is holding a grudge, owners should focus on slowly rebuilding positive associations through reward-based training. With time, patience, and positivity, dogs can learn to feel comfortable again around triggers that previously caused fear or anxiety. Making the effort to understand your dog’s emotional state and help them overcome challenges will strengthen your relationship built on trust.
Fostering Healthy Bonds
Building a strong relationship with your dog is essential for their well-being and helps create a happy home. Here are some tips for developing trust with your canine companion:
According to the American Kennel Club, meeting your dog’s basic needs consistently helps reinforce the human-canine bond. This includes providing food, water, exercise, training, toys, and affection on a predictable routine.
Let your dog know they can depend on you, advises the Whole Dog Journal. Be patient and avoid punishments, as this can damage trust. Reward good behavior with treats and praise.
According to K9 Mania, communication is key. Learn to understand your dog’s body language and vocalizations. Respond to them calmly and consistently.
Look for signs of a strained human-dog relationship, like fear, aggression, destructive behavior or housetraining issues. If needed, consult a certified dog trainer or behaviorist to get expert advice.
While it takes time and effort, developing a healthy bond with your dog can be extremely rewarding for both of you.
Conclusion
In summary, whether dogs can hold grudges against people or other dogs seems to be a contentious issue among experts and dog owners alike. Many interpret certain dog behaviors as evidence of grudge-holding; however, others strongly refute that interpretation. Most experts agree that dogs lack the cognitive complexity required for the type of abstract thought and long-term planning associated with true grudge-holding in humans. However, they can certainly display behaviors that suggest negative associations with specific people, dogs, or situations based on past experiences.
Some takeaways for dog owners include being aware of signs your dog may be uncomfortable or distressed by a person or situation. Rather than assuming your dog is holding a grudge, the healthiest approach is to slowly countercondition them through positive training methods, rewarding calm behaviors and rebuilding trust. Avoid punishing dogs for grudge-like behavior, as this is unlikely to resolve the underlying issue. Focus on creating strong bonds built on trust, consistency and understanding to maintain a happy relationship with your canine companion.
While the concept of dogs bearing grudges makes for interesting debate, at the core, we must recognize that dogs live in the moment. As owners, our goal should always be to create positive moments and experiences that bring out the best in our faithful friends.