Introduction
The sound of Sparky’s nails clicking across the hardwood floor always brought a smile to Bailey’s face. The two golden retrievers did everything together ever since Sparky joined the family as a puppy. But one day Sparky got sick, and nothing could be done to save him. At first, Bailey didn’t seem to understand why her best friend disappeared. She wandered the house looking for him and waited eagerly by the door for his return. Over time, Bailey became less energetic, lost interest in toys and walks, and spent more time sleeping. Her sad, soulful eyes said it all—she wasn’t just missing Sparky, she was grieving him.
What is mourning in dogs?
Mourning in dogs refers to changes in their behavior in reaction to the loss of another dog. When dogs lose a companion they had a close bond with, they exhibit distinctive signs of grief similar to those seen in people. Common mourning behaviors include lethargy, loss of appetite, restlessness, searching or waiting for the missing companion, vocalizing grief with whimpering or howling, and withdrawing socially from human family members.
These are outward indications of the inner distress dogs feel after such a loss. While dogs may not cognitively understand the permanence and finality of death, they feel the absence of their friend and react emotionally. Mourning is the dog’s way of coping with that absence and the change in their social group.
Do dogs understand death?
Dogs form close bonds with other dogs, animals, and people. When a bonded companion dies, dogs likely don’t understand the permanence and finality of death. However, dogs do seem to understand when a loved one is no longer present. They notice the absence and loss of an important relationship.
Dogs may search for a missing companion and wait expectantly for their return. They may also exhibit signs of depression due to the disruption of their social group. While dogs may not grasp that a companion has died, they feel the loss of an attachment figure in their life.
Dog attachment bonds
Dogs are pack animals that thrive on companionship and form close attachments to their families and other dogs. Studies show that dogs see their human and canine housemates as members of their social group. Like humans, dogs may have best friends that they prefer to spend time with. Dogs often play together, groom each other, sleep curled up next to each other, and get distressed when separated from a bonded companion. Puppies require socialization and learn much of their behavior from interacting with their mothers and littermates. Adult dogs often become very attached to dogs they live with, especially if they have been together for years. When a close canine companion dies or leaves the home, this disrupts a dog’s social structure similar to the loss of a loved one for a human. Dogs can grieve that relationship in much the same way people mourn the passing of someone significant in their lives.
Dog grieving behaviors
Dogs grieve similarly to humans – they show clear signs of emotional distress and mourn the loss of a companion. Common grieving behaviors include:
- Searching for the missing dog – wandering the house looking in familiar spots, repeatedly going to areas the dog used to sleep or play
- Waiting attentively by the door – anticipating the return of the companion dog
- Loss of appetite – refusing food or treats
- Being more clingy and needy – wanting more affection or reassurance
- Avoiding interactions – loss of interest in walks, play, training or attention
- Changes in sleep patterns – restless at night, sleeping more during the day
- Uncharacteristic behaviors like house soiling – a sign of stress
- Vocalizing more such as whimpering, whining or howling
These behaviors can persist anywhere from a few days to months, gradually diminishing as the dog adjusts to the loss over time. Patience and support can help a grieving dog through this difficult transition.
Factors impacting grief
When a dog experiences the loss of a companion they were closely bonded with, the grief response can vary quite a bit based on several key factors.
Age plays a major role, with older dogs generally grieving more deeply due to having more years to form a tighter bond. Puppies may grieve the loss of littermates, but not to the extent of dogs who have lived many years together. Adult and senior dogs who have relied on each other for companionship are impacted the most by the absence of a longtime canine friend.
Breed matters as well. Studies have shown dogs like Golden Retrievers, Labradors, German Shepherds and other loyal, people-focused breeds grieve more acutely. They tend to form very tight bonds and have an intense need for companionship. Dogs bred for independence like Siberian Huskies may not outwardly display as strong of a grief response.
However, the most critical factor is the closeness and strength of the relationship and attachment between the dogs. Littermate siblings who have been together since birth, a pair who have lived just the two of them for many years, veteran dogs who have relied on each other for comfort — these close bonds mean the surviving dog will mourn most severely. Dogs who were mere “penmates” rather than truly close companions will have a less intense reaction.
Supporting a grieving dog
There are several ways you can help your dog cope with the loss of a canine companion. Keeping to normal routines as much as possible provides reassurance and stability. Allowing your dog to see and smell the deceased dog’s body also gives closure. Additionally, getting another dog can provide comfort and reduce depression, if your dog is ready. However, be sure to give your dog alone time and don’t force interactions too soon.
Maintaining daily walks, feeding times, play sessions, and cuddle time helps create a sense of normalcy for your dog. Try to keep disruptions to their schedule at a minimum. Dogs appreciate consistency and it can have a calming effect during the grieving process.
Giving your dog a chance to see and sniff the deceased dog’s body allows them to understand what happened and gain closure. While difficult for us to witness, this encounter with the deceased is important for the living dog. Some dogs even benefit from having alone time with the deceased dog to fully comprehend the loss.
Getting another dog right away can help lift your dog’s spirits. However, experts recommend waiting at least 2-3 months before introducing a new dog. This gives your grieving dog time to stabilize emotionally first. When you do get another dog, introduce them gradually and expect some initial tension or jealousy as they establish a new relationship.
Overall, be patient and allow your dog to grieve in their own way. Don’t force them to socialize or play before they are ready. With time and your understanding, your dog can adapt and their spirits can lift once again.
When to be concerned
While grief is a normal part of the grieving process, there are times when a dog’s reaction to loss can become unhealthy or prolonged. Here are some signs that your dog may be having trouble coping with grief in a healthy way:
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Loss of appetite – If your dog refuses to eat for more than a day or two, it could be a sign of depression.
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Lethargy and loss of interest in normal activities – Your dog may mope around and not want to go for walks or play.
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Anxiety – Signs can include restlessness, panting, trembling, and following you around.
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Searching behaviors – Your dog may wait by doors or windows looking for their lost companion.
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Excessive vocalization – Whining, barking, or howling can indicate your dog is distressed.
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Aggression – Grief may cause your dog to act out with snarling, snapping, or biting.
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Inappropriate elimination – Loss of bladder control or bowel movements in the house can happen.
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Self-harming behaviors – Your dog may compulsively lick themselves, chew their own fur, or mutilate themselves.
If your dog exhibits any of these signs for more than a few weeks, it’s best to consult with your veterinarian. They can assess whether medication may help and recommend treatment options such as supplements, pheromone therapy, or prescription drugs.
Coping with loss
Losing a beloved canine companion can be absolutely devastating for dog owners. Dogs become like family, and their passing often feels like losing a child. While nothing can immediately fill the void or take away the pain, there are some ways for owners to begin coping with the loss:
– Allow yourself to fully grieve. Don’t suppress your feelings or feel you have to “get over it” right away. Grieving is a process that takes time.
– Consider holding a memorial service, even something small and private. This can provide closure and comfort.
– Make space to process the loss. Talk with empathetic friends and family or join a pet bereavement support group.
– Commemorate your dog’s life. Create a photo album or memory book, plant a tree in their honor, frame their collar or leash as a keepsake.
– Don’t rush into getting a new dog right away. Wait until you’ve had time to grieve and can fully love another pup.
– Take care of yourself through the grief. Get plenty of rest, eat well, and lean on your support system.
– Find ways to memorialize your pet, like donating to an animal shelter in their name.
– Be patient with yourself. Loss takes time to heal from. Let the grieving process unfold naturally.
Remember, your dog loved you unconditionally. As hard as it is, their passing is a normal part of life. Focus on all the joy they brought you when they were here.
Takeaways
When a dog experiences the loss of a companion they were closely bonded with, it can be a very difficult and challenging time. However, with compassion, patience and support from their human caregivers, dogs can and do find ways to cope with grief and loss. It’s important we allow dogs the time and space to grieve in their own way, while also providing special care and affection to help them through this transition. Recognizing the profound emotional connections dogs form is key to empathizing with their sadness and creating an environment where they can start to heal. With a grieving dog, the most vital things we can offer are our understanding, comfort and unconditional love.
The bonds between dogs extend beyond just friendly playmates – dogs truly love and become attached to one another. Understanding this can help us better support our dogs through difficult losses. While the death of a loved one causes significant grief and mourning, our dogs still need us, perhaps now more than ever. With patience and compassion, we can help our dogs learn to embrace life and joy once again.