Introduction
Does your dog split time between two households? Maybe you share custody with an ex-partner or your dog stays with grandparents while you travel. While this arrangement may seem convenient for the humans involved, it can cause stress and anxiety for dogs who crave consistency and stability.
Dogs thrive on routine. When they are forced to switch between homes frequently, it can be confusing and unsettling. Changing rules, environments, and people may lead to behavioral issues over time.
In this article, we’ll explore the impacts of dogs splitting time between multiple homes. We’ll discuss tips for making this situation easier on your pup. And we’ll cover when frequent moves may be unavoidable versus when it’s best to limit a dog’s transitions.
Dogs Thrive on Structure and Predictability
Dogs are creatures of habit and they thrive on structure and predictability in their daily routines. Having a set schedule allows a dog to anticipate when it’s time for meals, walks, playtime, and other regular activities. This helps reduce stress and anxiety in dogs. When they know what to expect throughout the day, dogs feel more relaxed and secure. A predictable routine also reinforces important behaviors like potty training.
Seeing familiar places and people is comforting for dogs as well. They feel most at ease in a stable environment where their needs are consistently met. Drastic changes to their schedules or surroundings can be unsettling. While occasional variety spices up a dog’s life, too much inconsistency undermines their sense of stability.
Frequent Change Can Cause Stress
Going between homes disrupts routines and environments that dogs rely on for structure and stability. Many dogs become stressed when their daily walk schedule, feeding times, family interactions, play time with favorite toys, and other regular activities get constantly changed up. They may have certain rituals and comfort zones in each home that suddenly vanish when they switch locations. This lack of predictability and continuity takes a toll over time.
Dogs are sensitive creatures of habit that prefer consistency. Frequent transitions between different homes with different people, smells, sounds, layouts, and patterns mean they have to repeatedly get re-acclimated. The persistent novelty makes it hard for them to ever fully settle in. They may start pacing, whining, acting clingy or aloof, losing appetite, or showing other signs of anxiety from all the back and forth.
Separation Anxiety
Dogs become very attached to their families and depend on their routine. When routine is disrupted or the dog becomes unsure about who will be responsible for caring for him, separation anxiety can set in. Signs of separation anxiety include destructive behavior, excessive barking or whining, depression, and inappropriate elimination when left alone. If the dog is going back and forth between two households frequently, he may become unable to settle or relax, because he’s anticipating yet another move just around the corner. The inconsistency triggers feelings of loss and abandonment, which builds on itself each time the dog is handed off.
To prevent separation anxiety, make sure the dog has a set schedule that is adhered to as much as possible. Always use consistent cues and commands, and keep training consistent across households. Most importantly, make the moving process as smooth as possible by keeping travel crates, beds, toys, and food/treats the same at each location.
Confusing Commands and Rules
Dogs thrive when there is structure and consistency in their lives. When a dog splits time between multiple homes, they are often confronted with very different rules, routines, and environments. For example, one owner may allow the dog on furniture while another does not. Or the dog may be fed in the morning at one home and in the evening at the other.
These inconsistent rules can quickly become confusing for a dog. They may struggle to adapt their behavior appropriately in each home. A dog that is allowed on the couch at one house may jump up without hesitation at the other home where furniture is off limits.
Likewise, differences in training style and commands between owners can hinder a dog’s learning. For instance, one owner may use “sit” while another says “sit down” for the same behavior. Or one may use reward-based techniques while the other relies more on scolding.
When rules and training cues change frequently, it can be difficult for a dog to fully grasp what is expected of them. This lack of clarity and consistency can lead to frustration, anxiety, and other problematic behaviors in dogs.
Inconsistent Training
A common challenge when dogs split time between multiple homes is inconsistent training methods. What is reinforced in one home may not align with the rules and behaviors being taught in the other. For example, one owner may allow the dog on the furniture while the other insists the dog stay on the floor. Or one home may use positive reinforcement while the other relies more on scolding. This back and forth can confuse dogs and cause their training progress to regress.
Without consistency across households, dogs won’t fully grasp what is expected of them. The constantly changing rules will make it very difficult for any training gains to stick. Dogs thrive when there is structure, routine, and predictable consequences to their behavior. Frequent changes between homes disrupt this, which can negatively impact their training and adjustment.
Tips for Making Transitions Easier
Switching between households can be stressful for dogs, but there are ways to minimize the stress and help your pooch adjust:
- Keep routines and schedules as consistent as possible between homes – feed, walk and play at the same times.
- Continue the same training methods, commands and rules at each home to avoid confusing your dog.
- Leave familiar toys, beds and blankets at each house so your dog has comforting items.
- Give your dog time to explore and get comfortable when first arriving. Don’t rush into play or walks.
- Consider using calming aids like Thundershirts, pheromones or medications if your dog has high anxiety.
- Ask each household to follow the same diet to avoid stomach upset from sudden food changes.
- Make sure your dog gets plenty of exercise, playtime and affection during visits.
- Give your dog downtime in a quiet area like a crate or room when first switching homes.
The key is keeping a consistent structure and environment despite location changes. Be patient, stick to routines, and provide your dog extra love and attention during transitions.
When Frequent Moves Are Unavoidable
Sometimes situations arise where a dog must go back and forth between multiple homes frequently. Examples include joint custody arrangements after a divorce, dogs that split time between a city home and a country home, or other circumstances where the dog’s family is divided across households.
In these cases, it’s important to take steps to make the frequent transitions as smooth and stress-free as possible for the dog. Establishing consistency across both households will be key. This means sticking to the same schedules, rules, commands, and training techniques at each home. If the dog has designated spaces, beds, crates, or toys, have duplicates at each house. Maintain a consistent routine for walks, feeding times, playtime, and bedtime.
It also helps to have objects with familiar smells that the dog can bring back and forth. This provides a sense of comfort and continuity. Items like beds, blankets, toys or worn clothing with the scent of family members can help ease anxiety. Regular contact and visits if feasible between the different homes and families also helps the dog feel more secure.
While frequent moves are far from ideal, with extra care to preserve structure, consistency and familiarity, dogs can adapt. But minimizing the amount of back and forth is best for a dog’s wellbeing whenever possible.
The Ideal Situation
Ideally, dogs should live in one stable home environment whenever possible. This allows them to bond closely with their family and become comfortable in their home and neighborhood. While an occasional overnight stay or weekend trip is usually fine, frequent back and forth between different houses can be disruptive and stressful.
If circumstances require a dog to split time between two households, aim for the most predictable schedule possible. For example, spending weekdays at one home and weekends at another home would allow the dog to adjust to a predictable routine. Drastic changes, like switching homes every few days, is more likely to cause anxiety.
It also helps if both households use similar rules, routines, and training styles to provide consistency. Keeping familiar toys, beds, and accessories at each home also helps it feel more familiar. Additionally, maintaining close communication between both families is ideal, so the dog’s care and schedule is coordinated.
While moving between homes is rarely ideal, with extra patience, preparation and coordination both households can work together to make transitions as smooth as possible for the dog.
Conclusion
When dogs are shuffled between multiple homes, it can lead to stress, anxiety, and behavioral issues. Dogs thrive on structure, consistency, and predictability. Frequent changes in environment, people, and rules can be very difficult for them. The ideal situation is for a dog to have one stable home base. However, if moves are unavoidable, there are ways to ease the transition such as keeping routines consistent, minimizing absences, using the same commands, and maintaining patience.
The main takeaway is that while occasional visits or short-term stays with other families may be fine, dogs do best in a stable, permanent home. Limit the amount of back-and-forth as much as possible, and focus on meeting the dog’s needs for security and consistency if frequent moves can’t be avoided. With compassion and patience, dogs can adapt, but their wellbeing should always come first.