The Emotional Impact of Losing a Pet
The grief after a pet passes away can be overwhelming and intense. Studies show that around 85% of pet owners experience grief symptoms similar to losing a friend or family member. This grief is a natural reaction to losing a beloved companion that provided unconditional love and support.
There are many ways to cope with pet loss. Allowing yourself to fully process the grief, memorializing your pet, talking with others, joining a pet loss support group, or seeing a counselor can help. Grief comes in waves, so be patient with yourself and allow the pain to gradually subside over time. Finding ways to honor your pet’s memory, like looking at photos or planting a garden in their name, can also provide comfort.
Seeking support is crucial when coping with pet loss. Talking to friends, family members, a pet bereavement hotline, or a professional counselor provides an outlet to process your feelings. You don’t have to go through this alone. Connecting with others who have been through pet loss can help provide perspective and reassurance that your grief is normal and will get better.
Preparing For Your Pet’s Passing
Knowing that your beloved pet’s health is declining can be emotionally devastating. While nothing can prepare you for the loss, there are some things you can do before your pet passes away to make the process a little easier.
If your pet is older or has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, start making arrangements for their final care. According to Deceased Pet Care’s Pre-Planning Checklist, decide if you want a private or communal cremation, burial in a pet cemetery, or home burial if legal. Select an urn or casket. You may want to keep your pet’s collar, make a paw print, save a tuft of fur, or have your veterinarian prepare a plaster cast of your pet’s paw print as a keepsake.
The Human Society’s guide on How to Cope with the Death of Your Pet recommends preparing a space in your home to memorialize your pet with photos and other mementos. Some owners find comfort in talking to their pet, holding them close, and reminiscing on joyful memories.
While nothing can truly prepare you for the loss, taking steps to pre-plan can provide some comfort and make the process easier when the time comes to say goodbye.
Immediate Steps After Your Pet Dies
The immediate moments after your pet passes away can be emotionally devastating. However, there are some practical steps you should take right away.
First, confirm your pet has passed by checking for a heartbeat and breathing. Gently close your pet’s eyes and straighten their legs into a natural position. You may want to place a light blanket or towel over your pet once they are positioned for respect and dignity.
Next, consider removing other pets from the area, as they may not understand what has happened and could become distressed. Place your deceased pet in a quiet room by themselves for the time being.
Contact your veterinarian to notify them of your pet’s passing. They can guide you through next steps for handling your pet’s remains. You may need to bring your pet to the veterinary clinic or arrange for at-home pickup. Your vet can also provide emotional support during this difficult time.
Say your goodbyes however feels right, whether holding, petting, or talking to your cherished companion. Memorialize them by collecting fur clippings or paw prints if desired. Take time to grieve this immense loss before making any major decisions.
While this is an incredibly painful process, remember your pet knew your love. Reach out for support from friends, family, pet loss hotlines, or support groups as needed during the grief journey ahead.
Transporting Your Deceased Pet
After your pet has passed away, you will need to carefully move their body if you plan to bury or cremate them offsite. Take care when moving your pet’s remains. Gently wrap their body in a blanket, towel or bedsheet to transport them. You can also use a pet casket or sturdy box lined with a trash bag or bedding to safely contain them.
If you need to transport your pet’s remains to a burial site, crematorium, or memorial service, you have a few options. According to greenpetburial.org, you can transport a pet’s body yourself in a personal vehicle. Line the cargo area with plastic sheets and secure the body in a container. Refrigerate if not burying or cremating immediately. You may also be able to find pet remains transportation services in your area to assist.
Follow any regulations for transporting deceased pets. Some restrictions may apply for air travel or crossing state lines. According to radiant-heart.net, air transportation of pet remains requires using a licensed shipper. Contact your transportation provider to ensure proper procedures are followed when shipping a deceased pet’s body.
Choosing a Final Resting Place
The final step in honoring your pet after their passing is selecting a resting place. There are a few options to consider:
Burial: Many pet owners choose to bury their pets at home. However, check your local regulations first. According to Pet Burial Laws, pet burial is complex and highly regulated by each state, county, and city. Some areas prohibit home burial altogether while others limit the type of pets that can be buried, where on the property they can be buried, and how deep the grave must be dug. You’ll also want to consider lot lines and ensure you’re burying on your property. As an alternative, some veterinarian offices and pet cemeteries allow burial.
Cremation: This is a popular choice that allows you to retain your pet’s ashes. Pet cremation services are available through many vet offices, pet cemeteries, and private companies. Similar to human cremation, you can choose to have a private or communal cremation. You can opt for an urn or basic plastic container. And you can decide to scatter or bury the ashes.
Scattering ashes: Scattering allows for a symbolic farewell. You may choose to scatter in your yard, at your pet’s favorite park, at sea, or other meaningful places. Be mindful of any regulations if scattering in public places or at sea.
Pet cemeteries: These offer a designated space to bury or intern ashes. They may have caskets, headstones, and other memorial options. Additionally, some pet cemeteries host public memorials.
Memorializing Your Pet
Creating memorials, photos, or art is a special way to honor your pet’s memory. You could make a photo album or collage showcasing your favorite pictures with your pet. Having a painting or other artwork made of your pet is a lasting tribute. Custom pet portraits from a photo capture your pet’s unique personality.
Planting a tree or creating a memorial garden dedicated to your pet provides a living memorial. Choose a tree or flowers that represent your pet’s spirit, that you can visit and care for over the years. Some people bury their pet’s ashes and dedicate a plaque in their garden. Growing a living memorial can be very therapeutic.
Holding a memorial service brings people together to share stories and express how much your pet meant to them. You can share favorite photos, toys, or foods of your pet. Reading a poem, song, or letter to your pet offers closure. Some services are formal events, while others are more casual gatherings of close family and friends.
For other touching memorial ideas, check out this article or this resource.
Deciding On A New Pet
Losing a beloved pet is devastating. While some people may feel ready to welcome a new pet soon after, others need more time to grieve before considering another animal companion. There’s no set timeframe for when to get a new pet after losing one. The grieving process is unique for each person. According to one source, “Take as long as you need to grieve properly before making the decision to adopt again. For some, it may take years before they decide to welcome a new pet into their home” (source).
It’s important not to feel pressured into getting a new pet before you’re emotionally ready. While a new animal may help fill the void left behind, you want to be in the right mindset to properly care for and bond with a new pet. Some key things to consider are:
- Are you still actively grieving your previous pet? Have you made enough space emotionally to love a new animal?
- Is this a knee-jerk reaction to loneliness, or a carefully considered decision?
- Are you ready to take on the responsibility of training and caring for a new pet?
- Would adopting too soon make you feel guilty, like you’re “replacing” your previous pet?
If you do decide the time is right, introduce the new pet gradually to your home and routines. This gives everyone time to adjust. Understand that caring for a new pet may reopen grief over your lost companion. Be patient with yourself and stick to a routine with supportive loved ones by your side.
Coping With Guilt and Relief
One of the most common feelings after a pet’s death is guilt. Whether you feel you could have done more to prevent your pet’s passing or had thoughts of relief when they finally passed away, these feelings are normal but can be challenging to process. Here are some tips for working through guilt and finding peace:
It’s natural to replay events and think “what if I had done something differently?” But the truth is we all did the best we could with the information we had at the time. As painful as hindsight can be, try to have self-compassion and focus on the good moments you shared. According to The Ralph Site, “Beating yourself up serves no purpose and will not bring your pet back.”
Feelings of relief may arise if your pet was suffering from a long illness. This sense of respite is normal, even though you grieve the loss. Don’t judge yourself – caring for a sick or elderly pet can be emotionally and physically exhausting. Savor the positive memories, like Pet-Loss.net suggests: “If guilt should arise, combat it with memories of the good times you shared.”
Find comfort in knowing the depth of your grief reflects the depth of your love. With time, compassion, and support, the hurt will ease. Focus on the joy of the journey you took together.
Explaining Pet Loss to Children
When discussing the death of a pet with a child, it’s important to be honest in an age-appropriate way. Children as young as 3 years old can understand the basic concept of death as permanent, but may continue to have misconceptions about what that means (like believing the pet is sleeping or went on a trip) [1]. Use simple, concrete language to explain that the pet’s body has stopped working and it can no longer eat, breathe, or play like it used to.
Encourage children to memorialize the pet by making a collage, writing a poem or letter, or having a small funeral ceremony. This helps them process the loss and say goodbye [2]. Avoid euphemisms like “put to sleep” which may cause fear and confusion.
Watch for ongoing signs of grief like sadness, anger, lack of interest in normal activities, changes in sleep or appetite, or regression in younger kids. Provide plenty of comfort and reassurance. If grief lasts more than 2 weeks, seek counseling [3]. Losing a pet is often a child’s first experience with death, so handling it sensitively now can help them in the future.
Finding Support Groups and Hotlines
Losing a beloved pet can be an incredibly difficult and lonely experience. Seeking out support from others who understand the profound grief of pet loss can provide comfort and healing. Here are some options for finding pet bereavement support:
Pet loss support groups allow you to connect with others going through similar grief. Many animal shelters, veterinary clinics, and pet cemeteries host in-person groups. There are also virtual support groups you can join from home, like through the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (https://www.aplb.org/) or Lap of Love (https://www.lapoflove.com/our-services/pet-loss-support). Sharing stories and memories with empathetic listeners can help ease feelings of isolation.
Pet loss hotlines provide an outlet to talk through your grief with trained counselors. The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement offers a free pet bereavement support hotline at 855-402-4APLB (855-402-4 275) and online chat at https://www.aplb.org/chat/. There are also pet loss support hotlines through the Tufts Vet School and UC Davis Veterinary Hospital.
For more in-depth counseling, you can seek out a pet loss counselor or therapist who specializes in helping people process pet grief. They can provide personalized guidance on coping strategies and handling emotions like guilt, anger, and overwhelming sadness after losing a pet.
Seeking connection and understanding from others can help you feel less alone on your pet loss journey. Support groups, hotlines and counseling provide judgement-free spaces for sharing your love and grief.